A pizza delivery girl has to fight for her life when her last order of the
night turns out to be high society Satanists in need of a virgin sacrifice.
Satanic Panic (2019)
Directed by Chelsea Stardust
Written by Grady Hendrix
Starring Rebecca Romijn, Arden Myrin, Hayley Griffith, Ruby Modine, AJ Bowen, Jordan Ladd, Jeff Daniel Phillips, Jerry O'Connell
It’s always interesting, to me at least, when horror films decide to take a stab at the social class structure in America. More specifically, how the rich continue to stay rich and the poor continue to stay poor. It doesn’t happen often (which could be why it’s interesting to me) but when it does, it’s usually pretty entertaining. Best part, there always seems to be a different angle approached with each one made. Which brings us to Satanic Panic. Now, usually, I keep up with the production of films coming out and watch the trailers. But, I didn’t do it this time. I saw one trailer and what people were saying on social media. So, for once, pretty much went in blind. Just waited for it to drop on Shudder and hit play.
The film starts out as we watch our main character begin her first day as a pizza delivery driver. Looking to make some money, she accepts an order to a wealthier part of town. Problem is, her vehicle dies and the person didn’t tip. All of this leads to her being targeted by a coven of witches who need her to complete a ritual. As for what the endgame of this is? What the ultimate goal is? The film doesn’t really explain it all that well. It leaves hints in various points of dialogue, but never really fleshes anything out. This can lead to a bit of frustration at times with the movie. But, luckily, this is more than made up for with the humor and performances. This is a hilarious film with some delightfully dark humor. The actors help with their committed performances. Rebecca Romijn and Jerry O’Connell, in particular, chew up the scenes they are in and seem to be having a great time.
So, this was a mostly enjoyable film. The story can be frustratingly vague at times, but the humor and actors more than balance it out. Also, before I forget, it has a pretty bonkers ending that you have to see to believe. With all that said, if you’re looking for another horrific take on how the wealthy seem to stay wealthy, you can’t go wrong with this one.
It's safe to say that many of us have had that one bad night at work where everything went to hell. Working in restaurants made it seem like a regular thing that your life would get thrown into chaos and you had to fight, tooth and nail, to survive the night. Sam (Griffith) is going to have a night that would make us all feel like whiny little bitches because she has THE WORST FIRST DAY ON THE JOB EVER!
Since FANGORIA has risen from the dead, resurrected by Dallas Sonnier's Cinestate, they have begun slapping their seal of approval among a few horror flicks in the last couple years. I have been impressed with what they've produced so far and this is another high point for the new FANGORIA as Chelsea Stardust's film is a devilishly wonderful blend of horror and humor (all thanks to writers Grady Hendrix and Ted Geoghegan for their story and script) that walks the tightrope brilliantly while not falling victim to becoming too funny or not gory enough. Trust me, this flick has guts (literally).
Sam is starting her first night delivering for Home Run Pizza ("Just for the money" she keeps telling herself). It is a series of shitty customers and even shittier tips (even receiving a dead man's smelly fucking sweater) that is pushing Sam to the edge. Her last order is to a posh neighborhood known for, what else, stiffing the delivery person with no tip! Foolishly, Sam enters the house to demand a tip only to find out that the house is full of yuppie douchebag satanists preparing for a ritual to summon Baphomet. What? You don't order pizzas, hang with your buddies, and summon demons? Yeah, me either...that's crazy! Which is what comes next: a whole bunch of crazy! There's floating sacks of human hunting monsters, curses, entrail readings, and sacrifice that will totally satisfy the void in your life for Satanic horror comedies, which we all know are in short supply these days.
Rebecca Romijn steals the show as Danica Ross, a leader of a Satanic coven hell bent on bringing Baphomet into the world. Jerry O'Connell has a nice cameo as her vape puffing husband Samuel who tries to offer his, ahem, protection to Sam. The real star of the movie, for me, is the soundtrack by Wolfmen of Mars. I have been listening to them for about five years now and I can't sing their praises enough. If you love synth heavy music that's a blend of metal and John Carpenter, this is your new favorite band. I hope to hear more from them on a movie soundtrack. Satanic Panic is another great addition to the party movie list I continue to add to. Do yourself a favor and fire up Shudder and watch this, it's not like we don't have the time right now with a global pandemic forcing most of us to stay home.